


#24 - Yodel It!

by angelsandbrowncoats



Series: Eurovision 2017 Fanfic Challenge [20]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, M/M, batfam is mentioned, bruce tries to take care of everyone except himself, some of that midwest feel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-24
Updated: 2017-05-24
Packaged: 2018-11-04 07:22:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10986165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandbrowncoats/pseuds/angelsandbrowncoats
Summary: Bruce has been kidnapped by an unknown person with an undoubtedly sinister endgame.Undoubtedly.





	#24 - Yodel It!

**Author's Note:**

> I am so new to the Batman fandom most of what I know is Gotham and I'm new to that too. I hope the fact that this is essentially a crack!fic covers up any poor characterization on my part

"You will regret this," Bruce growled, stopping when he realized he was using his Batman voice. It wouldn't do to put that idea in peoples' heads. The kidnappers probably were after Bruce Wayne for his money, no reason to give them a bigger bargaining chip.

More interestingly, though, none of his provocations had seemed to work. Offers of money, threats of violence, everything was met with cold silence. He didn't know the first thing about his captors.

The van he was in came to a halt and he tried to determine where he'd been taken. Unfortunately, they'd gone too far for him to have a solid idea. They were outside of Gotham, and that meant his home field advantage was lost.

His blindfold was removed and he blinked at the sudden light. When his vision cleared, he frowned. Before him was what appeared to be a baseball stadium.

"What-?"

"Hey, Bruce," a familiar voice greeted.

"Clark?" Bruce spun around to see a guilty grin on his boyfriend's face as he held the blindfold, "What the fuck?"

"Ooh, he can swear!" Clark says, like it's funny.

"Why are we here?"

"You were recently bedridden due to a combination of sleep deprivation and caffeine overdose. If you had been anyone else, you would have been hospitalized."

"I meant why did you kidnap me?"

"Oh, that," Clark waved a dismissive hand, "You never would have agreed to this otherwise. Even if I insisted it was work."

"I _didn't_ agree to this. Whatever it is."

Clark raised his eyebrows, "A baseball game..? What does it look like?"

"Yes, but _why_?"

"You need to relax. Live a little. What's better for that than the simple pleasures? A game of baseball, a bit of quality time with your boyfriend, some crappy ballpark food, a slight sunburn - you'll be right as rain in no time."

"I beg to differ."

"C'mon, Bruce. You're going to take the afternoon off, and you're going to enjoy it. You're entire family's turned on you, so resistance is futile."

"My entire- Did they put you up to this?"

"It was a joint effort, really. Remember when you told Tim you were driving him to work but then abandoned him in an amusement park with the rest of the boys?"

"It was for his own good! He- " Bruce cut himself off before he could dig himself any deeper.

"Well, there you go. Besides, it's just a game of baseball. It's not like I dragged you to the top of Wayne Enterprises and demanded that you yodel or anything."

"Har har har," Bruce rolled his eyes, "Fine. One game of baseball. But no hotdogs."

"Aw, hotdogs are the best part. What about nachos? Cotton candy? Ice cream? Are peanuts alright?"

"For God's sake, stop! I'll eat the damn hotdog, alright."

Clark laughed, patting him on the back, "That's the spirit. Now we just need to get you a foam finger, and you're all set!"

Bruce glared at him, "It had better be a middle finger."

And if Clark choked on his laughter at that, it was only the entire parking lot that heard.


End file.
